Every year around this time I get in a slump where I don't know what to do with my life. I begin to hate my life, I hate my body, I hate everything! Aaaaand then depressed me comes in. This is the moment where I start adding some extra lbs, I stop caring about everything and just go to work, come home, eat, veg out, read, eat, and go to sleep (not in that particular order but all in all it's a monotonous evil routine). After that comes spring, then summer, then the lovely thanksgiving and christmas and somewhere in between I completely push all of my worries to the back of my mind only to be remembered the following year. Always around the same time, not "New Years resolution" time but afterwards. When everyone has forgotten about their new resolution to, "Lose weight!" or "Spend money the right way". This is when it all kicks in, I like to call it, "late winter depression."
Well, this year is different! (so I say)...... Sitting around b****ing about how nothing ever changes in my life and how unsatisfied I am with everything isn't going to help me at all. So I've decided to finally do something about it! I want a NEW ME, a healthier, happier, more productive me! So I began to brainstorm on how to make all of these changes, I started by making plans for the near future! instead of me always dreaming of someday going on an awesome trip to Japan I set it up and got the vacation approved, then I went into how to lose all of these extra lbs I've gained. EASY! I started a new HCG diet my coworker recommended; he gave me some info on a health center he's been going to which is where he was introduced to the HCG diet, I made an appointment, got the HCG and food info and dived right into it..... Not knowing what I was getting myself into. :(
At first I thought, "meh, whatever, maybe I'll get skinny" ....... it was TORTURE for me!! Having to give up bread, sugary deliciousness and any kind of food that is cooked in oil... I thought I was going to die! Being raised in a Hispanic home my entire life it is very difficult to give up on these things, especially having a baker for a mom.
Now don't get me wrong I LOVE her cooking, she is a cooking queen! However, with me trying to start fresh with a "new me" I guess you can see the issues I've been running into.
Day 1 and 2 were a breeze.. getting to eat anything I wanted, the sky was the limit! then day 3 comes in and the torture begins, 500 calories of nothing but healthy food and nothing but pastries and fried food around.... Not gona lie, my little spinach, tomato, and chicken salad looked like crap that day compared to everything around! Day 4 and 5 went by and I wanted to kill myself for committing myself to such a diet and then came day 6. Everything was fine, I had my tea in the morning, my midday apple/snack, cabbage soup and my lovely 3.5 oz of grilled chicken for lunch, (3.5 oz raw! when it's cooked it goes down to about 2 oz) and I felt fine! I didn't realize it until my coworker mentioned that I seemed a lot more energetic and happy than usual, like a more "chipper" Steph.
Then I remembered some random article I read a long time ago that said something about how sometimes unhealthy food/fast food could be the cause of depression for some people, which got me thinking, maybe that was my problem? All the processed food as delicious as it can be could have been what was causing this emotional roller coaster I was/am always in. Needless to say, this small revelation made me want to push forward! I am now 7 days into my diet and I am actually feeling a little good about myself, taking better care of myself inside and out!!!
Lets just hope I keep it that way...
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